Change
by E l f i i a
Summary: L's entire life is turned upside down when he finds out that, to his surprise, he has a young daughter he's obligated to raise. As a result, L is faced with an entirely new slew of problems- such as figuring out how to balance his personal and work life, as well as how to prioritize his child's safety over the needs of his investigation. (OC warning!)
1. Chapter 1

L's investigation of Kira had only just begun. He was still residing in England, though by the way the investigation had started out, both he and Watari knew they wouldn't be residing in Winchester much longer.

He had, just the day before, come to the conclusion that Kira resided in Japan- in the Kanto region, to be exact. His time left in England was limited, and he and Watari were preparing to leave for Japan the following morning.

Speaking of Watari, L hadn't heard a peep from the older gentleman in hours, though probably resulting from his own actions. L had always been a bit of a loner, though not particularly by choice. His investigations took top priority in his life, he sat a bit oddly, and his voice was almost constantly a monotonous draw. Whenever possible, he investigated alone, in a cold, dark, bare room. Just him, his computer, and of course- his sweets.

The clock on his laptop ticked to 1:00 am, and he gave it a quick glance before going back to typing. His expression was mostly stagnant as his fingers tapped across the keyboard. Occasionally, he would press his thumb to his mouth and use his free hand to scroll, but shortly after he would go right back to typing. His movements were rather predictable.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour, he stretched- figuring that he should really go on to bed... But then, there was a knock.

"L." It was Watari.

"Yes?" L responded, his voice just above a mumble. Watari entered then, still dressed in his suit- just as proper as ever.

"We have... A bit of a dilemma." He stated simply, his voice leaving a hint of worry.

"Do we?" L questioned, typing once more. "And what might that be?" His gaze was fixated upon his computer screen as he nibbled on a rather large brownie.

"There is an officer downstairs. He wishes to speak with you."

L chomped on the remainder of his massive brownie in one fell swoop, his cheeks full. "Really?" He asked between bites, his voice muffled, "Well, that's not unusual, even considering the timing." He mused, finally swallowing all that was in his mouth as he stood. "I'm assuming their visit somehow pertains to the Kira investigation? Am I correct?"

Watari swallowed. "I'm afraid not, L."

L walked past him, pressing his thumb to his lower lip. "Then what might it pertain to, I wonder?"

"I... I believe it would be better suited for the officer to explain the situation to you, rather than myself." Watari commented, following closely behind L- who walked hunched over, his hands buried in his pockets.

"I won't lie to you, Watari, the fact that you've said something so vague makes me-"

"Good evening. I apologize for visiting you so late... Or, rather, early." The officer interrupted as L reached the bottom of the stairs. He showed L his badge. "My name is David Powers, Police Chief. If you could, I'd advise you sit dow-"

"I was planning on it." L interrupted David, now, already mid-crouch. The officer nodded, sitting on the couch opposite the one L was crouching over. "Please, go on." L advised, as Watari left to fetch some coffee for the two men.

David nodded, taking off his hat. "At approximately 9:30 pm this evening, there was a report of a car accident called into our station. It involved a young woman named Hannah Calamia, does that name sound familiar to you?"

L pressed his thumb to his lower lip. "It does." He finally responded, plopping a multitude of sugar cubes into the coffee cup Watari had just placed before him. "That's... Rather unfortunate to hear. I'm assuming she's not alright?"

The officer shook his head. "Unfortunately, no, she isn't. She didn't make it. Which happens to be the reason why I'm here."

L took a sip of his coffee, squinted harshly at it, and then placed four or five more sugar cubes in it. He sipped at it again, then sat it upon the table before him. "I'm very sorry to hear that, but Hannah and I hadn't seen each other in over three years. Almost four, actually. So, at the risk of sounding... Detached from the situation, I have to question why you've come to visit me. My condolences to her family."

The officer sighed then, leaning his elbows against his knees. "She had a child with her. The child is alright, miraculously- no injuries. Before Ms. Calamia succumbed to her injuries, she claimed that the child... Is yours."

The spoon L had been holding to stir his coffee slipped from his fingers, falling to the floor with a " _clang!_ " that most certainly felt louder than it actually was. His mouth fell slightly ajar, his eyes as wide as saucers. Then, regaining his composure, L picked the spoon up off the tile flooring and absentmindedly placed it back in his mouth, making David cringe. "Is that so?" L finally questioned, doing his best to seem somewhat indifferent. "I apologize, I'm not sure how to respond."

Watari was quick to place a hand on L's shoulder, his stern presence calming L's inner freak out. "L, I don't mean to pry into your personal affairs... But is there any possibility that her claims could have some truth to them?"

L stood then, rubbing his bare feet against one another. "There is a possibility." He finally admitted, though (strangely) he gave no explanation as to what the probability was.

"We could always run a DNA test if you have any doubts." Watari reassured him, and David nodded in response.

"That's true, and-"

"That won't be necessary." L stated, raising his hand as if to shew off the very idea. "Did she have any next of kin?"

"What?" David questioned, standing as well.

"Did Hannah have any next of kin... To look after the child?" He questioned, just as monotonous as he typically was.

"No." David responded, solemnly. "Being that you are, presumably, the child's biological father, the responsibility to care for this child technically falls to you. If you wish to forfeit that responsibility, the child will be placed in an orphanage, or perhaps foster-"

"That's unacceptable." L responded, staring out the window beside the front door. Despite the darkness, he could see another officer sitting in the police car in the driveway. "I won't forfeit my responsibility."

"L, please take care to remember that, since you're working on the Kira case, you can't-"

"I'm entirely aware, Watari. We'll discuss the specifics later on. As for right now..." He turned to David, "I'm sorry, I failed to ask- is the child a boy or a girl?"

"A girl."

"Interesting... And just how old is she?"

"Three years old." David responded, and L nodded.

"That... Sounds accurate." He commented, looking out the window still. His expression, though often expressionless, seemed... Solemn. "I would like to see my daughter."


	2. Chapter 2

David had been pretty thorough with L about the basic state of his daughter; her name was Emery, she was three years old and very articulate for her age. She was potty trained, well-mannered, and generally playful... But also very scared and confused.

She didn't understand where her mother was, or why she'd left. She didn't understand why she was suddenly hearing the word "father" more often, or why she was coming to live in a strange house.

She was too young and afraid to understand, so when officer David returned to the car to retrieve her, she flinched away from him.

"Don't want to go." She cried, and the officer in the front seat cringed as she sobbed, "I want mommy."

David sighed. He didn't know how to explain to this child, once again, that her mother was gone. "Listen, sweetie... I know you're sad that your mommy is gone, but we've found your father. Your daddy. You'll be staying with him from now on."

Emery looked up at the officer, her round, azure eyes welling with tears. "Don't want to." She cried simply, but she allowed the officer to pick her up nonetheless.

"I know." David attempted to soothe her as she buried her face in his shoulder. "But your daddy is excited to meet you. And he'll take great care of you. He's a good man."

Emery sniffled and cried the entire time David was carrying her from the car to the front door, where Watari was waiting for her. He took Emery from the officer's arms, allowing her to cry on his shoulder as L stood at the window beside them, stagnant.

He could hear Emery crying, he could practically see her pain- but he had no idea how to soothe her. How was he supposed to introduce himself to his own daughter; the child he never even knew he had?

She looked just like him; the fair skin, the black hair... The sadness. She was lost, alone, and afraid... Just like he had been at her age. How could he be the father she needed...?

"Now, now, don't cry, little one." He heard Watari whisper to her. He'd always had such a fatherly presence, this kind of soothing was second nature to him. "I know you're sad, but you're safe. Your daddy and I will take good care of you here."

Emery sniffled, clearing her nose before looking up at Watari's kind face. "You aren't my daddy?" She questioned innocently, her little voice trembling.

"No." L finally spoke, turning away from the window and toward the couch where Watari and Emery sat. "He's not... I am."

Emery peered at L, and then hid her face in Watari's shoulder. Had the situation not been so tragic, her reaction would have almost been funny... She had been expecting a more "fatherly" figure to be her daddy, but in reality the tall, pale, slouchy man with messy hair and raccoon eyes was her father. Her reaction was almost like a joke that she was too young to understand.

There was silence. L made no move to approach Emery, feeling ashamed that he didn't know how to comfort her. Eventually, his gaze fell to the floor, and he turned away once more. Watari placed Emery on the couch, walking toward L in stern strides. "Don't worry, little one, we'll be right back!" He called behind him, placing an arm around L's shoulder and coaxing him into the next room- a library overflowing with books.

"L, I know this is a lot to take in all at once, but you really need to put forth some effort." Watari stated, as gently and politely as he could. "If you don't, Emery will start to feel even more alone than she already does. Not only will she have to deal with the fact that her mother is dead, and she is in a strange place with strange people, but also with the fact that her father is showing no intention of bringing her any comfort."

L looked down, then nodded, closing his eyes. Watari hadn't seen him look so forlorn in a very long time. Truth be told, L rarely looked _happy_ , but the sorrow in his eyes was both indescribable and undeniable.

"Watari..." L began, looking away. "This hurts so horribly." He breathed, looking up at the man who had raised him, the man who knew him so well. His expression was so pained; so different from his often blank mask. His poker-face typically made it easy for others to forget that L had any emotions at all; he was so good at hiding them... But not tonight. Not this time.

"She... Looks exactly like me." He continued finally, swallowing the lump in his throat. "And she articulates herself so clearly, she's obviously intelligent for a child her age... That's my daughter... And I wasn't there when she was born, or when she said her first words. I didn't even know she existed before tonight. And now she has no mother. She only has me, and I have no idea how to be the father she needs right now."

Watari nodded, understanding L's standpoint entirely. He placed his hand upon his shoulder. "Just start by being there for her. That's all you have to do, and that's all she needs; everything past that point will come to you naturally."

L nodded then, and his eyes widened as Watari embraced him, holding him close- the same way he'd done when he was a small child.

"Go to her."

* * *

L looked at Emery for a moment before approaching her. She was crying again, her knees pulled up to her chest, her face buried in them. She was alone, and so was he; Watari had opted to let L handle the rest of the situation himself.

She was shivering, so as L neared her, he grabbed a blanket off the couch opposite her. He placed it around her.

Her sobbing ceased for a moment. "Thank you." She hardly managed, wiping her eyes.

L nodded, and then lifted her up- wrapping his arms around her. She started crying again, wishing so desperately it was her mother holding her- and he felt his eyes well up with tears as well. "I'm so sorry." He whispered between tears. "I'm so, so sorry I was never there."

"It's okay. Don't cry." She sniffled, though L knew she didn't understand the weight of his words. She looked up at him, and he looked away; determined not to allow her to see him crying.

She reached for his eyes anyway, clumsily wiping them with the edge of her blanket. He smiled then, whispered "thank you", and pulled her in even closer; using the long sleeves of his shirt to wipe her tears.

"I'm here now." He assured her, rocking slightly as he stood. "And you will never have to feel scared and alone again. Because you won't be."

She nodded, though her eyes still held sadness. "You won't leave me like mommy did?" She struggled to ask, her lips quivering.

His eyes widened as he heard that, and he gasped slightly. He had no idea what to say to her; no idea how to explain that her mother hadn't intentionally left her behind... But that there was nothing he could ever do to bring her back.

In the end, he opted for a simple, "No. I will never leave you."

Watari sighed, smiling ear to ear from where he'd been spying on the two... At the corner of the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

To say that Emery didn't sleep well that evening would be an understatement. Despite L's efforts to transform the spare bedroom into something more inviting to a frightened three years old, at the end of the night, it was just a dark room with a bed.

The stuffed animals he'd pulled out of storage and placed on the bed did very little to quell her fears, and neither did the fuzzy pajamas he helped her into.

Finally, after showing her where the bathroom was and having her brush her teeth, L tucked Emery in, making sure she was snug under the blankets. He wasn't really sure whether he was "tucking her in" right, or how to go about making a three year old go to sleep, but (in his own oblivious way), he was trying.

"My room is right down the hall. Two doors down, to be exact. If you happen to need anything at all, my door will be open." He promised, expecting it all to be smooth sailing from there.

Emery looked at him like he had three heads.

"Can't sleep here." She stated, as if it should have gone without saying.

"That's... Unfortunate, though I suppose not surprising, considering the situation..."

Emery looked around, taking in the bare walls and the lack of a night-light. Then her gaze fell back to L, who was being extremely consistent with maintaining eye contact. "Um... It's scary in here." She stated, matter-of-factly.

"How so?"

"It's dark."

"Hmm... Well, you're not wrong." He mused, crouching down beside her. "But I'm here, so it's not as if you're alone." He was trying his best to be comforting, but the fact of the matter was- he really didn't know how.

"But you won't sleep here?" Emery questioned.

"Well... No, I won't." L responded, "But I _will_ be right down the hall."

"No." Emery responded simply, crossing her arms. "I can't sleep here." She pouted, and L wondered for a moment if David had lied about her being well-mannered.

L didn't quite know where to take the conversation from there. He wasn't about to allow her to sleep in his room; he had work to do, and she would _have_ to learn to sleep alone. "Well... I'm sorry, I don't really know what to do at this point." He admitted, pressing his thumb to his lips. "I can stay here with you until you fall asleep."

Emery nodded, sinking beneath the covers a bit. When she didn't respond, and showed no signs of closing her eyes, L began to stand.

"Wait. Where are you going?" Emery asked, fear in her tone.

"No where. I'm going to stand, right here, until you fall asleep."

Silence.

And then, "Can you read me a story?"

L thought for a moment. "I don't believe I have any books that would interest you, but I can _tell_ you a story. Do you feel that would help you fall asleep?"

Emery nodded, and then L realized he had no idea how to make up a story appropriate for a child on the spot... So, he improvised.

"Alright," He crouched down before her on the bed, "you see, despite what other adults may have told you, monsters _do_ exist." L began, "But they don't look scary and they don't hide beneath beds. Or at least, most of them don't. They look just like you and I."

Emery's eyes widened, "Mommy told me monsters were make believe."

L nodded, "Well, I suppose she would have said something like that. But, as you'll come to find, they are very real. And there are many different types, but they all have one thing in common: they'll meet their demise, and their demise will be me."

Emery cocked her head. "I don't know what you mean." She finally said, and he realized that (despite the fact that Emery was very intelligent for her age), he needed to dumb-down his words.

"Okay, allow me to try again... I'm a detective. The world's greatest detective. And my job entails hunting monsters. I find them, and I bring them to justice."

Her eyes widened once more, and she smiled. "You're a monster hunter!"

L nodded then, smiling only slightly. "Yes. I'm a monster hunter." He'd never imagined such childish words would ever come out of his mouth.

"That's amazing!" Emery exclaimed, gripping one of the many teddy bears surrounding her.

"I'm glad you think so." L commented, ruffling her hair slightly. "So, anyway, being that I am... A monster hunter- and the best, at that- I've brought _hundreds,_ even _thousands_ , of monsters to justice. And currently, I am trying to catch a very famous monster."

"A famous monster?"

"Yes. Possibly the most dangerous monster I've ever hunted."

Emery looked concerned then. "Are you scared?"

"Of course not. I have no reason to be. I _am_ the best in my field."

Emery nodded then, and she was (finally) beginning to look on the verge of sleep, so L kept talking.

"The monster's name is Kira, and despite him being the most dangerous monster I've ever hunted, I feel no need to be afraid of him. He needs a person's name to do them any harm, and my name has never been public knowledge. You have to be very secretive about things like that when you're a monster hunter, and-"

And she was asleep. L wasn't sure whether his voice was just so boring she'd nodded off, or whether his "story" had brought her some form of comfort, but regardless he was glad.

He had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

Emery slept peacefully for about an hour, until she was jolted awake by what sounded a lot like Watari snoring down the hall. But, to a three year old, what was most likely snoring sounded a whole lot like a monster growling.

She sat up, looking toward the door. Her daddy had said his room was just down the hall, so how long would it take her to run from this room to his?

She made her way toward the doorway, looking down the hallway. There was a room with its' door opened- just as L had promised- with a pale blue glow emanating from the doorway.

She ran for it.

When she entered, she saw that the pale blue glow was coming from a laptop, sitting open in the middle of the floor. She cocked her head, trying to understand what was on the screen... But it was full of letters and words she didn't understand. There were no pictures, and those were the only things she knew how to read.

There was a cot in the corner of the otherwise barren room, and L was laying down on it in exactly the same way he sat- in that weird, crouched-down position. The only difference was that he was actually laying horizontally instead of sitting up.

Emery began making her way toward him slowly, looking back at the door as she heard that "monster" sound once more- and then hopped into the bed with him.

He grunted a bit, moving slightly, and then went right back to sleeping peacefully.

She stayed still for a moment, afraid she'd wake him. He had just finished telling her to sleep in her own room, so she knew he'd be angry if she woke him up.

Once she was reasonably sure he was still sleeping soundly, she gripped onto the back of his shirt. It was baggy enough for her to pull toward her, and since he was laying directly _on top_ of the only blanket on the bed, it was her only chance at having something warm to cover herself with- even if it only covered part of her.

Three hours later, Emery was woken up by fast "tapping" sounds. She rolled onto her side, stretching- and then got herself tangled up in the blanket that had mysteriously been placed over her, falling into the floor.

"Ouch." She whined, rubbing her head as she looked up. L was crouched down in front of his laptop, tapping away with one hand and eating a doughnut with the other. He finished it in two bites, took a rather large gulp of his coffee, and then started chomping away at another one.

"Are you alright?" He finally asked after he'd finished chewing, half of the doughnut still in his mouth. He didn't turn to look at her; he just continued typing.

"Yes." Emery answered, untangling herself as she stood.

He finished what he'd been typing, and then turned his gaze toward her. "Good. I would ask if you slept well, but I'm going to assume the answer to that question is no, considering you were in my bed when I woke up."

She shook her head. "I heard growls."

"Growls?" He questioned, pressing his thumb to his lip. "That's... Quite interesting. Perhaps I was snoring."

Emery shook her head once more. "No, it wasn't you." She yawned, "But it was scary."

"Scary. Yes... That does sound scary." L mused. He sounded a bit disinterested, so Emery didn't bother responding. She just stood there, looking at him.

So he looked at her.

And she looked back at him.

And he looked back at _her_. He wasn't about to let a three year old win a staring competition against him.

Finally, she looked away, sitting down beside him. She sat cross-legged, like most children would given the opportunity to sit on the floor. Then she looked at the way L crouched, trying to imitate it. She soon realized it wasn't the most comfortable position to sit in, and went right back to sitting cross-legged.

And he went back to typing, getting into a rhythm of typing, then scrolling. Typing, scrolling. Typing, scrolling. Every now and then he would place his thumb to his lips, let out a "hmm," or an "interesting," then type, then scroll.

He didn't speak to her, so she watched him. She didn't understand what it was he was doing, but she knew it must have something to do with him being a monster hunter, so she was fairly content just sitting beside him.

That is, until her stomach started growling. It let out a loud gurgle that even surprised herself, and L immediately looked to her.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, "I have doughnuts."

"Yes. But I don't want doughnuts."

"I also have cake." He offered, holding out a small plate with a slice of strawberry shortcake on it.

Emery shook her head, though it did look delicious. "That's dessert. I want breakfast."

L squinted, turning back to his computer. He finished typing, then clicked a few times- saving his progress. Finally, he turned back to Emery, who (now that he was getting a good look at her) looked rather funny. Her shoulder-length black hair was sticking up all over the place, save for her bangs- which were slick against her forehead. Her blue eyes were still tired, her cheeks flushed against her pale skin. Again, he was realizing, she looked exactly like him.

Which was part of the reason why it was so surprising to him that she didn't want sweets for breakfast.

"What do you typically eat in the morning?" He questioned, standing. Emery's eyes followed his movements, and she noticed just how strangely he stood. He never stood straight, he was _always_ hunched over to some degree.

He placed his hands in his pockets. "I know how to cook... Eggs." He continued, rubbing his bare feet against one another. "Actually, that's a lie. I'm not particularly good at cooking them. Watari, however, is."

Emery didn't respond, because she didn't know what to say to him. He was incredibly listless in the way that he spoke, and Emery had never encountered anyone who spoke that way.

There was silence again. L didn't know what to say.

Emery didn't know what to say.

L didn't know how to be a father, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get the hang of it.

"I want you to know that I'm very sorry." He finally admitted, helping Emery stand. He went to pull his hand away after she was on her feet, but she wrapped her little fingers around two of his own, and despite the feeling being foreign to him, he decided to let her keep it that way.

"Why are you very sorry?" Emery questioned innocently, looking up at her father.

He looked away for a moment, and then decided that avoiding this confrontation was pointless. So, he picked her up, walking toward the door.

"I'm sorry because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." L admitted. It was almost funny, he thought to himself; _the world's greatest detective can solve unsolvable crimes, but can't figure out how to be a good father._

"However... I do have every intention of attempting to be the best father I can be to you."

Emery nodded, though she wasn't sure she understood everything he was saying, or the intentions behind his words. But, she had a feeling he was carrying her downstairs because there was food there, and that idea was exciting.

Rounding the corner into the kitchen, the two of them were bombarded with a wave of smells. Watari had been cooking, and he'd already set a place at the table for both Emery and L. The one for L was, obviously, surrounded by plates covered in various sweets.

"Down please." Emery asked politely, and L allowed her to leave his grasp. She immediately ran up to Watari, who was wearing an apron and turning off the stove top.

Emery hugged his legs, and he patted her head. "Good morning!" He exclaimed, "And how did you sleep last night, little miss Emery?"

"Not good!" She responded, though she seemed happy nonetheless.

* * *

Once Watari had gotten Emery situated at the table with her breakfast and something to drink, he and L stepped into the living room.

L crouched down on the couch with a cup of coffee and a plate of sweets, both overloaded with sugar; while Watari sat across from him.

There was a moment of silence as L took a bite of a piece of chocolate cake, but then he began speaking with his mouth still half-full. "Watari, in your opinion-"

"You can't leave her." Watari interjected quietly, knowing all too well what L was about to say. "I apologize for interrupting, but that is simply an unacceptable option. She needs you. You told her you wouldn't leave her; you can't back down on that promise."

L nodded, taking in Watari's concerns. He took a sip of his coffee, which was thick with sugar but still didn't have quite enough for his liking.

"You know, typically, I would question exactly how you knew that I told her that, being that you had claimed to be going to bed before said conversation took place... But, even at that time, I knew you were eavesdropping." L stated matter-of-factly, setting his mug down on the coffee table.

"I was." Watari admitted.

"I'm aware."

L shrugged slightly when Watari failed to respond, adding more sugar cubes to his coffee. He stirred it, sipped it, added more sugar once again, and then finally set it back down.

"Back to what I was saying..." Watari began once more, clearing his throat. "You can't leave her behind, L."

"And just what do you think we should do?" L responded, his gaze fixated upon Watari's. "We can't take her to Japan with us. We've already missed the flight we were set to be on this morning- which, I admit, was our best course of action considering the situation at hand. But the fact of the matter is, we must to go to Japan to continue investigating the Kira case. There is simply no way around that."

"I know." Watari admitted, shaking his head. There was so much hurt in his tone. "I just can't bare the thought of you leaving her to be raised in the institution. Even if it is the one I founded, it's for gifted children _without_ parents, not gifted children _with_ parents."

L took in a deep breath. Then, he let it out. "I'm not leaving her behind because I want to." He sounded... Remorseful. That's the word Watari could most attribute to his voice.

"I understand that."

"I'm doing this for _her_. Just because my name, and as a result- my life- will remain safe as I investigate Kira, does not mean _her_ life, as well, will be safe if she's with me."

Watari nodded. "As I said, I understand where you're coming from. I just wish this situation could have a different outcome."

"As do I."

"When would you like to leave?"

"Tomorrow, if possible."


	4. Chapter 4

Watari was fairly certain L's mind had been made up for good, but he wanted so desperately for L to change his plan.

He succeeded in convincing him to take the entire day off of working on the Kira investigation, and instead spend it with Emery. "It'll give you a chance to explain to her the circumstances of your leave," he had said, though he was almost certain L wouldn't be able to do so... Which was the outcome Watari was hoping for all along- a change of heart.

L, being quite childish himself, knew of the perfect place to take Emery- to the park. He walked her there, hand in hand, the brisk December winds engulfing them, forcing L carry her at times.

When they finally arrived, L sat Emery down, telling her simply to "go play." She looked at him like he was crazy, tilting her head slightly.

"By myself?" She asked.

"There _are_ other children here, as well." L responded.

"I thought you were going to play, too."

Well... I suppose I can." He mused, pressing his thumb to his lip. Emery grabbed his free hand, pointing toward a large, twisting slide.

"We should do that!" She exclaimed, dragging him toward it. "I want you to go first."

"Alright." L agreed, climbing to the top. He crouched down, rested his hands on his knees, and very slowly slid down. His expression was plain and unchanging the entire time.

"That... Didn't look fun." Emery commented as he stood at the bottom. "I thought you would have fun."

"I did have fun."

"But you didn't smile or go 'wee!'" She replied, cocking her head. Her shoulder-length, ebony locks peered out from beneath the beanie L had placed on her head.

L pressed his thumb to his lip once more. "That's... True. Let me try again." He climbed to the top, crouched down, and slid to the bottom again- letting out the blandest "Wee." Emery had ever heard.

She didn't look too impressed. "You're doing the 'Wee!' wrong." She grabbed his hand as he got off the slide, leading him to the ladder. "Go up."

He climbed up.

"Now sit."

He sat, first in his crouch, and then when Emery stared at him- cross-legged. She slowly managed to climb up after him, sitting in his lap.

"Now go!" She instructed, and they began sliding down.

"Wee!" She laughed, smiling from ear to ear. They reached the bottom rather quickly, and she hopped out of his lap- putting her hand up for a high-five. He obliged.

"Again!" She demanded, and they went again. And again. And again. Until L finally got tired of it, and suggested the swings instead.

So, they swung on the swings. L pushed her for a bit, and then (because she insisted), he crouched down on one as well, as she did her best to push him. She was never able to push him more than a couple inches, so he swung himself slightly- giving her the idea that she was, in fact, pushing him hard enough to get him going.

Which made the few children surrounding them "oooh" and "aaaah" at Emery's strength- asking her to push them as well.

So, she did. And L watched, until he noticed that there was a hot chocolate stand just a few steps away, and he bought both himself and Emery one.

They then sat at a picnic table, sipping at their hot cocoas. L's was overloaded with whipped cream and marshmallows.

"We should come here again tomorrow." Emery commented, taking a sip of her drink a little too quickly- she spat it out, her tongue burning.

L shook his head. "I told you not to drink it too quickly." He commented, taking the styrofoam cup from her and blowing on it a bit before handing it back. He didn't respond to her suggestion of returning tomorrow... Mostly because he didn't quite know how to break the news to her. Should he tell her the truth- that he had to go to Japan, that he would hopefully return soon, but could be gone for as much as a year or more? Or should he keep it from her completely and simply leave, which would save him the pain of attempting to explain the situation to her... But would undeniably hurt them both in the long run?

He was jolted from his thoughts as Emery reached for his hand, smiling up at him as she held onto it. He looked back at her, smiling slightly.

"You know, I think I should take you shopping." L thought aloud, taking a large gulp of his cocoa. Some of the whipped cream ended up on the tip of his nose, so he attempted to lick it off. When that didn't work, Emery wiped it off his nose with her own finger, putting it in her mouth before he could protest. He had half the mind to scold her for it, but she laughed- and he laughed- and it was all okay.

"Anyway, as I was saying, we only have the few outfits the officer brought with you, and I'm quite sure you'll grow out of them soon enough."

Emery nodded, smiling. "Mommy said I grow like a weed!"

"A weed? That's an interesting comparison. Weeds really don't grow all that quickly, in fact-" He stopped his explanation and looked down at Emery as he felt her grasp loosen. Her eyes were watering as she hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in them.

"Emery..."

She started crying then, and he placed his hand on her back, not knowing what else to do. "Emery, don't cry... Everything's okay."

But everything wasn't okay. And he knew that. He was expecting too much of her; she had just lost her mother and was just meeting her father (who had no idea what he was doing and couldn't compare to her mother in the least), _and_ he was acting as if she should have been adjusting to such massive changes just fine. In reality, she was still a baby. She was young and scared, and he should have known better than to simply say "everything's okay."

"I want to go home." Emery sniffled, wiping her eyes.

"Alright, we'll go home." L stated simply, standing. He reached out his arms, offering to carry her. She fell into his grasp, and he held her tightly as he began walking home.

Home. She was calling the little house he and Watari shared... Home. They were her home, and he was about to take that away from her.

She continued crying, but soon it eased up. He wasn't sure whether to speak, or stay silent as she cried, so he decided to simply listen to her sobs until she was ready to speak again. For a while, he thought she must have fallen asleep, but as he neared home, she finally piped up.

"Daddy?" She asked timidly, leaning her cheek against his shoulder.

His eyes widened a bit, and then went back to their dull gaze. The word "daddy" sounded so foreign to his ears, and yet it softened his heart.

"Yes?" He whispered back.

"Why didn't I know you before?"

She was putting two and two together; she wanted to know why she'd never before been aware that she had a father, and he wasn't sure how to react to that.

After thinking for a moment, he finally responded with, "There are... Quite a few reasons your mother may have chosen not to mention me to you." He said, quietly. "But I don't say that with the intention of giving you a bad viewpoint of your mother. I'm sure her intentions were good."

"... Did you know me?" Emery asked, sadly.

"I didn't. And that's the only reason I wasn't with you. I want you to understand that."

She nodded, and then became restless in his arms. "Down, please." She asked, and he let her go.

She shivered without his added warmth, and he lifted her up again without bothering to ask. "It's getting too cold out for you to not be wearing a proper winter coat." He commented, pulling the hood of her jacket over her beanie. Her hair ended up getting pulled to the front with it, covering her eyes and falling halfway down her nose.

She tried to move it out of the way, and when she couldn't, she pulled her hood back off.

They stood only a few feet from the door at that point. Watari was waiting for them on the porch, leaning out from the doorway.

"Come on in, you two. I've taken the liberty of preparing lunch." He stated as he opened the door wider, allowing them in.

L let Emery back down as they entered.

"L, you should really wear a jacket during your outings." Watari commented, "It's too late in the season for you to be without one. You must set a better example for little Emery here- isn't that right?" He joked, but Emery didn't respond.

"What's wrong, little one? Are you hungry?" Watari asked, placing his hand on her head, which she shook.

"Thirsty?" L questioned, noticing how pale her face had grown.

"No..." Emery replied, looking at her feet. "Daddy... Is it true that you're leaving?"

L felt like his heart had dropped into his stomach- which was a very unsettling feeling, considering he'd hardly realized he was capable of feeling such emotion until the evening before.

She had been listening in on their conversation earlier, he realized. She was most certainly his child.

Watari looked to L, who was looking to Emery. Something in him was telling L to lie; just make up some nonsense as to why she'd heard what she heard and how it didn't actually pertain to her... But he couldn't do it.

So, he crouched down before her, removing her beanie and then unzipping her jacket. "I do have to leave." He admitted, helping her out of her sleeves.

Emery's eyes held so much heartbreak. "Why?" She asked, wiping her eyes. "Why leave?"

L smiled then, using his thumb to wipe away some of her stray tears. "Don't you remember? I'm a monster hunter, and there's a monster I need to catch."

"So take me." She cried, reaching out for him. He held her as she cried against the crook of his neck.

"Shhh... Calm down." He tried to soothe her, "You don't want to come with me. You'll get bored, and there won't be any other children for you to play with there. If you stay here, you'll get to live in a big house with lots of other kids. You'll love it. Watari owns it, and he'll make sure you are made to feel right at home."

"That's true." Watari chimed in. Though he didn't agree with L's decision, he knew he needed to back him up regardless. "There are lots of kids there, so you'll make plenty of new friends. You'll get to play every day."

Emery shook her head. "No." She sobbed, "Daddy, please don't go. Please stay."

He nudged her off his shoulder, holding her at arms length, wiping her tears once more. "I can't stay, I have to go." He stated simply, attempting to get her to understand, "But I promise, I will come back for you. And when I get back, we'll go right back to living here, together."

Emery shook her head again. "Please take me. This isn't fair."

L stood then, his voice becoming a bit more stern. "This is fair, Emery. From now on, every decision I make has to have your best interest at heart, and you coming with me is _not_ in your best interest. I'm sorry."

"He's right, dear. I know that's not what you want to hear, but-"

Emery started screaming then. "No! Mommy left and now you're leaving too? You said you would stay!" She managed to stammer out, breathing heavily between her tears. "That's not fair!"

She managed to push herself away from her father, running into the living room and burying her face into the couch.

L began following after her, but Watari placed his hand on his shoulder. "It's probably better that you just allow her to cry it out." He said, sadly.

L sighed then. "I don't want her to have to cry it out, Watari. I want her to understand."

"She can't, L." Watari began, shaking his head. "You're forgetting that she's too young to understand your intentions- she can only understand actions."

L's gaze fell to the floor then. Watari was right. "Watari..."

"Yes, L?"

"... Nevermind."

After a few minutes, Watari ended up taking Emery up to her room, citing that she was probably tired and in need of a nap. At first, she resisted, but soon she fell asleep.

When she awoke, it was around three in the afternoon. Groggily, she laid in bed for a moment, looking at the ceiling as she held her teddy bear to her side. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but her tears had dried up and she felt no need to spill any more.

"Emery?" L called quietly before he entered the room.

"Yes?"

"Good, you're awake, I see." He commented, crouching beside her on the bed. "Did you enjoy your nap?"

She shook her head, making L snicker to himself.

"Well, regardless of whether or not you enjoyed it, you most certainly needed it."

Emery's response was none at all- she simply stared at him, blankly. He sighed.

"Emery..." He began, looking away from her. "I want you to understand that I'm not leaving you behind because I want to."

She turned away from him, now. "Then don't."

He shook his head, though part of him found her attitude almost... Amusing. There was no anger or hate in her voice, it was actually quite monotone. "It's not that simple." He sighed, standing. "I want to take you with me."

"Then do." She sounded sad then, and that hurt him.

"I want to, Emery. I truly do. But I can't intentionally put you in a situation where your safety is not guaranteed. I can't let anything happen to you."

Emery thought for a moment before nodding, trying her best to understand. "You're a monster hunter."

"I am."

"So can't you protect me?"

He didn't know how to respond at that point, so he considered his answer carefully. It wouldn't be very fatherly of him to allow her to believe that there was a chance that a time would come when he _couldn't_ protect her. "Of course I can."

Silence.

And then she was crying once more, and he took her into his arms- thinking that, perhaps, he was finally beginning to get a hang of this whole father thing.

And as he held her, wiping her tears and kissing her forehead, he realized he couldn't leave her. Despite the fact that his intentions were good, she was far too young to understand that. He was the only parent she had left; how could he even consider, after all she'd been through, intentionally separating himself from her for any extended period of time?

He had promised to never leave her, and though he had meant that in the sense that he had no intentions of leaving her behind the way her mother unfortunately had, he knew it was all the same to her.

If he left her in England, she would feel abandoned, and that was unacceptable. He had to take her with him.

"Listen to me, Emery." He whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm taking you with me, okay? But you absolutely _must_ listen to Watari and I. No exceptions. You _have_ to be good. Do you promise me that you will?"

She nodded between sobs, and he held her even tighter.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I love you."

"...I love you too, Emery. I always will."


	5. Chapter 5

If L had stood by his decision to go to Japan without Emery, he would have been leaving for Japan the following morning. But instead, he was waking Emery up at the crack of dawn, helping her get ready to go shopping- something that L loathed, and therefore typically passed on to Watari. But alas, Watari had other responsibilities; some of them pertaining to Wammy's House, some of them pertaining to preparing the proper paperwork to allow Emery to fly with them the next morning.

So, L coaxed Emery into getting _out_ of his bed and getting _into_ the bathtub- though she insisted on him waiting for her directly outside the door. So, he did. He crouched down on the floor beside the bathroom door with his coffee and his sweets, alternating between the two.

Emery still wasn't fond of sleeping alone, or bathing alone, or doing much of anything alone, for that matter. Watari had told L that it would likely take her a few weeks, maybe months, to get used to the prospect of sleeping in her own bed, or being left alone in a closed room- even now, she was bathing with the door open.

"Daddy?"

"Yes." L answered, though his voice was muffled by a piece of cake he'd shoved in his mouth. He took a sip of his coffee before answering once again, "Yes?"

"Umm... Are you gonna wash my hair?" Emery asked, as if she'd expected him to understand this obligation already.

"I suppose I can." He responded as he stood, "Are you decent?"

"Decent?" Emery asked, then responded, "No, I'm Emery."

L wasn't sure whether she was trying to make a joke, or really didn't know what the word "decent" meant; so he chuckled slightly for good measure. "Are you still naked, or have you gotten dressed?"

"Oh! I'm dressed." Emery responded as he entered, proudly showing off the fact that she had buttoned her dress up all on her own. It was crooked, and she had missed a button somewhere, but she had done it.

L, not wanting to hurt her feelings, fixed it for her without saying anything. She then leaned her head over the edge of the tub, seemingly waiting for him to do the rest.

He turned on the water, and she felt it to make sure it wasn't too hot.

"Good!" She said, giving him a thumbs-up without moving her head out from under the faucet.

It really wasn't so unreasonable that she couldn't wash her hair herself, L noticed. Her hair was even thicker than his; slightly longer, and just as difficult to detangle.

"Ow!" Emery cried as he tried to scrub her head, and he winced.

"I'm sorry. Um... Perhaps... How did your mother typically do your hair?" He asked quite monotonously, squinting as he tried to figure out just _how_ Hannah could have possibly detangled this child's hair when washing it.

"Um, she used... Lotion?" Emery responded, seemingly unsure about her answer.

"Conditioner." L corrected her, looking around the bathroom. He rarely brushed his hair, let alone used conditioner. "Hmm... I don't believe we have any conditioner here, so please bare with me, alright?" His voice was as cool, calm, and collected as usual.

She nodded, and he continued scrubbing her hair; combing it as he rinsed out the suds. By the end of the ordeal, she was in tears, and he was wiping them away as he did his best to put her hair into braided pigtails. He kissed her, then tickled her, offered her sweets, and did everything in his power to get her to laugh. And it felt so... Right.

Yes. That was the word. Right.

* * *

"What's your favorite color?" L asked, crouching as he absent-mindedly searched through a display of sweater dresses with one hand, holding onto Emery with the other.

"I love all colors!" Emery responded, licking the rather large lollipop L had offered her when she complained about her head still hurting from earlier.

"I suppose that's understandable, but are there any colors that you favor in particular? Pink, blue, red... Purple, perhaps?"

She didn't answer.

"Green, yellow..." He continued, listlessly.

"All colors!" Emery reiterated, smiling from ear to ear. Her eyes were shining so bright, he couldn't help but smirk. Those eyes... That was one thing that she hadn't gotten from him. Hers could light up a room.

"Alright... Well then, I suppose I'll just have to buy you one of each color, then." He responded nonchalantly, setting her down so he could pile the sweaters across his arm. "You'll need pants to go with them, as well." He continued, searching through a display of leggings, "...I suppose one pair for each shirt will suffice."

"Isn't that a lot?" Emery questioned, cocking her head.

"Mmm, I don't believe it's such an absurd amount, no." L responded, piling pairs of pants atop the mound of shirts he'd already accumulated across his arm. "Is there any particular reason that you ask?"

"I've never had that many." Emery responded.

His eyes widened, though he quickly regained his composure. "Is that so?" He wondered aloud, biting his thumb. "Well, I'm sure there was good reasoning for that." He said as he stood, more to assure himself than anything else.

Emery didn't bother to respond- she wasn't all that sure what he was mumbling to himself about, and besides- she was far more interested in the display of dresses before her.

"I love this." She smiled, pulling at the ruffled skirt of a purple dress with silver trim.

L knelt down once more, "Let me see if I can find one in your size." He began flipping through the numerous sizes of dresses before finding one that looked like it may fit. He held it up to her chin, nodding approvingly.

Emery beamed up at him, chattering on and on about how excited she was to wear such a pretty dress.

Once they'd visited just about every store that the mall had to offer- purchasing Emery everything from clothes, to books, to suitcases, to toys, to hair products, and more- L finally called Watari to pick them up. He struggled to balance the numerous bags hanging from his arms, holding Emery securely against his shoulder, and gingerly holding his cellphone between his pointer finger and thumb... But he managed.

"Watari." He spoke quietly as the old man finally answered, "We're ready."

"I'll be there momentarily, L. Officer David is here... It appears they've found something of interest in Hannah's apartment."

L lowered his voice once more, careful to avoid disturbing Emery's soft snoring, "What might that something be?" He whispered.

"It appears to be a letter."

"Addressed to whom?" L questioned, though he was quite sure he knew the answer already...

"You."

Watari took the liberty of laying Emery down on the couch to continue her nap, leaving himself and L as the only two awake in the entire house.

He handed the envelope to L. It was addressed to him, and even stamped- it had just never been sent.

"I'm not quite sure what it contains, but..."

L nodded, "Thank you, Watari." and then headed toward the stairway. "I'll take a look at this soon, but first and foremost I have a bit more investigating to do before tomorrow."

"Of course."

* * *

He tried to focus. He skimmed newspaper articles pertaining to the murders, he studied their patterns, he watched the news, documented his findings, and responded to emails from the NPA... But he couldn't focus.

He wanted to know what was in that envelope. No, moreover, he _needed_ to know. And there was only one way to find out.

He opened it.

 _L,_

 _I'm sure that if you're reading this, something bad has happened to me. I am either dead, or otherwise incapable of raising our daughter... Who I imagine you've been made aware of, at this point._

 _I have written this same letter numerous times. I hoped that you would never have to read it... But obviously, if you're reading this now, you know my fate already._

 _Please, forgive me for never telling you about Emery. The decision I made to keep her a secret from you was my own, but I had my reasons. Most of them were good._

 _You were doing great things with your life. Making decent money, working hard to solve the toughest crimes out there. You had paved your way in the world, made a name for yourself. I had no intention of holding you back, or putting you through the roller coaster that is parenthood._

 _I wanted you to succeed. But more than that, I didn't want our daughter to be raised with a father who would come and go constantly due to his work. Who would never have time for her._

 _… But even more than that, I couldn't bare the thought of raising my daughter alongside a man incapable of loving me._

 _I know that sounds selfish. It is selfish. I am not without my faults, and one of them is that I desperately wanted you to love me, knowing full-well that you weren't capable of doing so._

 _I don't know why I continued our friendship, or acquaintanceship, or whatever you want to call it for as long as I did. I don't know why I still decided to sleep with you knowing that I would just fall more in love with you, and you would still only view me as... Nothing._

 _When I got pregnant, I got scared. So I ran. And I know it will be hard for you to understand this, but I couldn't bare the idea of loving you, and co-parenting with you, only to be reminded every day that I meant absolutely nothing to you._

 _I'm sorry._

 _Our daughter's full name is Emery Marie Calamia; being that you are now her guardian, please change her last name to your own. I don't want her to have anything to mourn over. In the case that I am dead, my body is being donated to science. There is nothing of value in my apartment._

 _The only thing from her "old life" I will offer you are the pictures attached to this letter. Do what you wish with them._

 _But whatever you do, please, please love our daughter. I don't know if you're even capable of love, but please, try to find it in you to love Emery. She will bring you so much joy._

 _Hannah_

She doubted that he was capable of loving his own daughter. That was what stuck out the most to L. She had no faith that he could have been a good father to Emery. He wondered what her basis for such an assumption could possibly be; were her feelings entirely based in her selfishness, or...?

L, typically slow to anger, crumpled the letter up and tossed it to the side, but not before saving the photographs that were attached to it.

One was an ultrasound, the next was of Hannah holding a newborn Emery, the following was of Emery riding a little tricycle, there were pictures of birthdays, and Christmases.

Every picture that had been taken in Emery's apartment rubbed him the wrong way. It was obvious that her place was in a bad part of town. The appliances in the background were falling apart. There were hardly any toys, Emery was always wearing one of two separate outfits...

He hated it. He didn't even want to look at them. But he knew he had to keep them- because what if Emery wanted them someday?

Part of him understood some of Hannah's reasoning, part of him was more angry than he had ever been before. He could have bought them a house, payed the bills for them. He could have made sure that Emery never lacked anything. Emery could have had _both_ of her parents. And even if he had to play "husband" in order to do it, he would have. He would have done whatever it took to give her the best life possible. The most stability possible. If only he had known...

He picked the letter back up, straightening it and setting it back down before closing his eyes in an attempt to collect himself. He needed to focus. He needed to get his priorities straight. He needed to focus on the case, on making sure everything was packed for their leave the following morning, on _anything_ but that stupid letter.

But it wasn't working, and he caught himself questioning just _why_ Hannah hadn't been capable of putting her feelings aside in order to let him know about their daughter. Why hadn't she thought of Emery before herself?

… How could she not?

"L?" Watari knocked, though L hadn't bothered to close his door.

"Yes, Watari." L responded, coolly. He didn't bother to turn around, or to look busy.

"Is everything alright?" The old man questioned, standing behind L- who still didn't move.

"Of course." Was his simple response. And then, "Where's Emery?"

"She's still asleep on the couch. You two must have done a lot of walking today, she's sleeping like a baby." Watari laughed, placing his hand on L's shoulder.

L looked down. "Watari..."

"Yes, L?"

"Please, spare my feelings with your honest response to this question..." He held his thumb to his lips, as if contemplating how to word his inquiry.

"I would never lie to you." Watari assured him, though L had known that already. Watari didn't lie. He just softened the truth every now and then... But what fatherly man didn't? L knew he did. Already.

"Do you feel that I'm incapable of love?" L asked finally, holding the letter between his pointer finger and thumb, staring at it intently.

"Of course not, L. I know quite well that you are capable of love. Perhaps you do not show your love in the most conventional ways, but that doesn't mean it's not there." He tried to be as assuring as possible with his explanation, but it all meant the same thing: L wasn't incapable of loving. He was incapable of properly showing his love.

"Does this pertain to the letter, perhaps, or-"

"It does." L responded, standing hastily. "But now that I think about it, I'd much rather avoid discussing it any further. In fact, I'm quite certain that it would be in my best interest to wake Emery up. Otherwise, she probably won't want to go to bed tonight."

Watari looked like he wanted to say more. He wanted to know what was on L's mind. But he didn't want to overstep his boundaries, either. So, a simple, "I suppose that would be wise, yes," would have to do.

* * *

After waking Emery, L retired to the living room to crouch down on the couch, have a few cups of tea and read the most current Japanese newspapers... While Emery decided that clinging to Watari's legs and standing on his toes as he attempted to cook dinner seemed like a great idea.

"Sir, sir!" L could hear her calling.

"Yes, Emery?" Watari asked, seemingly unbothered by the toddler clinging to him as he attempted to cook.

"Whatcha making?" She asked, smiling from ear to ear.

"Dinner, dear." Watari offered, smiling himself. Emery stared at him intently, obviously waiting for further elaboration. "Spaghetti and meatballs." He finally offered.

"Pa-sketti?" Emery questioned, squinting her eyes and cocking her head- almost as if she didn't believe him. "Daddy!"

"Yes?" L asked, his eyes still fixated upon the newspaper he held slightly above his head. He took a sip of his tea, then used his tongue to lick the mounds of sugar collected at bottom of his mug before refilling it.

"What's pa-sketti?"

"Spaghetti. It's a kind of pasta." He responded, his eyes following the words on the paper.

"Spu-get-ti. Like rigatoni?" She asked, jumping off of Watari's feet and racing into the living room.

"How are you able to pronounce a word like _rigatoni_ with ease, but incapable of saying _spaghetti_?" L mused aloud, then grunted slightly as Emery threw herself across his lap. Or rather, across his kneecaps.

He didn't immediately respond to her, and instead simply held the paper a bit higher above his head, adjusting his gaze.

But he could feel her eyes on him. "Is there something that I can help you with?" He asked finally.

"Yes."

"Alright, how can I help you?" He asked blandly, setting his paper down only to lift up another one.

She didn't seem too keen on only having his partial attention, and therefore pouted until he sighed, setting down his papers once more.

He made eye contact with her, and she smiled. "Where are we going tomorrow?"

"Japan."

"Where is Japan?"

"It's in East Asia."

"Do they talk like us there?" Emery wondered, pressing her thumb to her lips. For a moment, L thought that perhaps she was going to stick it in her mouth- but she didn't. She simply pressed her thumb to her lip, very similar in nature to the way he often did when he was thinking.

"No, but Watari and I will teach you how to speak like them."

"Yes, please! Can we start now?" Emery beamed, and L placed his hand on her head.

"Unfortunately, not right this moment. There are more pressing matters we need to discuss... Do you remember what I explained to you last night?"

Emery nodded, sliding off his lap and mimicking his crouch beside him. She was obviously uncomfortable in that position, but... It was definitely cute.

"So, can you answer some questions for me?"

"Of course!"

"Okay," L began, holding his pointer finger up, "What do you say if somebody asks you what your name is?"

"I tell them that my name is Em. I never tell them my real name."

"Correct. And what do you say if they ask you what my name is?"

"I tell them that your name is... Um, that word... Rrrr-" She struggled, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Ryuuzaki." He reminded her.

"Yeah! Ryu-saki."

"Zaki. Ryuuzaki." He corrected her, "Z. Like in zoo."

"Ryuuzaki." She repeated, smiling when he nodded his approval, pressing his thumb to his lips.

"And if somebody asks you who your parents are, what do you do?"

"I don't tell them unless you say it's okay."

"Even if..." L began, attempting to remind her of a very crucial element.

"Oh! Even if they seem nice. I can't tell them."

"That's right." L said, patting her on the head as he handed her a lollipop. "And you absolutely must obey Watari and I entirely, no matter what the situation is, understood?"

"Understood." Emery responded, licking her lollipop and watching intently as he picked up one of his newspapers using only his forefinger and thumb.

"Why do you hold things like this?" Emery asked, dangling her lollipop directly in front of his face- using only her thumb and forefinger to imitate him.

He brushed her hand out of his face. "Mmm... If you're interested in a more in-depth explanation than, _I like holding things this way_ , I would say that it's the simplest way for me to hold items while burning the least amount of energy possible. Energy conservation is important to somebody like me, as because of the extreme amount of mental energy I use on a daily bases, I have to consume up to three times the amount of calories as a more average person. And even then, I still remain underweight, but that's due to..." He continued droning on, seemingly unaware of the fact that Emery lost interest after his second sentence.

"Sir!" Emery called, and Watari knew that she could only be referring to him.

L finally got the idea and stopped talking.

"Yes, Emery?" Watari responded, poking his head around the corner.

"What do I call you?" She asked, dropping the lollipop she had been holding and standing up on the couch. She wobbled, almost falling- but L steadied her.

"Please refrain from standing on the couch." He requested, and Emery nodded, managing a "sorry" before standing properly on the floor.

"What do you mean, little miss Emery?" Watari joked as she neared him, tasting the sauce he'd just finished making.

"If someone asks me, what do I say? I'm Em. Daddy is Ryusaki, and-"

"Ryuuzaki." L corrected her, plopping sugar cubes into his cup of tea.

"Ryuuzaki. Daddy is Ryuuzaki. Who are you?"

"Oh, I see." Watari admitted, straining the spaghetti noodles over the sink. "I will be addressed as Watari while we are in Japan. Wa-ta-ri."

Emery nodded, standing on her tiptoes and attempting to peer into the sink. "Wa-ta-ri. Like water." She repeated.

"Yes. Like water."

"But what do I call you here?" Emery asked, reaching for his hands. "These are wrinkly." She stated simply, not realizing how rude that may have seemed in a more formal situation.

Watari laughed. "Yes, my hands are wrinkly. It's because I'm old."

"Like a grandpa!" Emery responded, jumping. "Can I call you that?"

"I don't see why not, but only in private. Among others, please remember to call me Watari." He reminded her, getting some clean plates from the cabinet. "Would you like to help me set the table?"

"Of course!"


	6. Chapter 6

L put Emery to bed not long after dinner, at about six pm; which gave him nine hours until their flight was to depart.

Nine hours to go over everything he knew; to catch up with what the past three days had set him back.

So far, he had announced his participation in the Kira investigation to Interpol; and had successfully narrowed down the fact that Kira was residing in the Kanto region of Japan. He had deduced that all murders occurred between four pm and twelve am- with sixty eight percent occurring between eight pm and midnight. Weekends and holidays held no pattern. This made him suspicious that Kira may have been a student... Or an office worker.

He also knew that Kira was capable of controlling his victims' actions directly before their death- as made evident by the communications he had made earlier in the day with the NPA.

His next step was to have the director of the FBI deploy agents to Japan. A task made simple when your name was L.

Logically, there wasn't much else for him to work with. He scanned through the files on his computer, checked his emails and the current Japanese reports... There were no notable updates; everything had been communicated with him far earlier in the day, before he had even woken Emery up to take her shopping.

So, he was up to date. And had deduced what he could from the information available. He wasn't as behind as he thought, or even at all.

And Hannah had been worried that he wouldn't be able to balance Emery and his work... What a stupid idea.

But he wasn't going to focus on that; he was going to focus on how to keep Emery safe. His original plan had been to stay in hotels, switching them every few days... But that had been when it was just he and Watari going to Japan. Now, he was responsible for his daughter. He would have to take additional measures.

He would switch hotels every other day, instead of every three. Starting with the Teito Hotel. Apart from that, keeping Emery safe would be quite easy... He still had no plans on showing his face to the NPA. He still had a hunch that all of the current members didn't trust him yet, and that they weren't staying involved in the case for the right reasons... And he would not trust anybody incapable of trusting him. The world needn't know the man behind L, only that he existed.

Kira would not know. The NPA would not know. He would make no public appearances, which was how L had always operated to begin with. The world knew _of_ him. But they didn't _know_ him.

He couldn't be so risky with his behavior anymore. Just the day before the officers brought Emery to him, he had broadcast Lind L. Taylor to the Kanto region of Japan; using him as a figurehead. When Kira killed Lind. L Taylor, L was able to confirm that Kira was indeed in Kanto...

And he had challenged Kira to kill him. Practically begged him to.

"Now... Try and kill me." He had said, "What's the matter? Are you scared? Kill me. Kill me now. Do it." He had really put his life on the line there; though he was fairly certain that nothing would happen- that Kira couldn't kill _everybody_ , that there were specifications as to who he _could_... But what if he had been capable?

He shook his head. He wasn't going to think about that; but he also wasn't going to put himself directly in harm's way. He couldn't.

He glanced over at Emery, who was sleeping in his bed- and then to the clock on his computer, which ticked to 10:17 pm. Their flight would leave at 3 am, and last for 12 hours. Adjusting for the time change, they would arrive in Japan at 11 pm the following day- nearing the end of Kira's typical killing time for that day. So, tomorrow- like the last few days- would be a day of L keeping up with whatever inside information that the NPA may be able to collect.

The following day, Watari was to begin attending the NPA meetings in L's place; and L would continue using his laptop to communicate with the task force; which would do its part in continuously keeping his identity a secret, whilst giving him the time and flexibility to take care of Emery.

Should he need to enlist the help of a babysitter, he knew just who to call.

* * *

Flying with a toddler was an entirely different animal than flying alone, L soon found out. First of all, Emery had absolutely refused to wake up- which left him to carry her; and that wouldn't have been such a big deal if he and Watari didn't have so much luggage to tote alone. Of course, they did- which left L carrying Emery over his shoulder, wearing two backpacks, toting a rolling suitcase, with four bags slung across his arms, and a teddy bear shoved in his face. He had tried to take the bear from Emery, but she held on to it in her sleep- and she knew every time he tried to take it away.

Watari was carrying his fair share as well, though he didn't have the added issue of trying to see over a teddy bear practically blinding him with its' fur.

L had been quite sure that once they boarded the plane, it would be easy sailing from there. He and Watari had bought tickets on opposite sides of the plane for safety reasons- and Emery's was directly beside L's. So, he figured he could just lay her down in the seat beside his. No big deal.

Except it was a big deal. Because then Emery woke up. And she was confused as to where they were. And she started crying. And L had no idea what to do, because none of his normal "tricks" were working.

And he was, once again, losing faith that he was figuring out the whole "being a good father" thing.

"Emery, please don't cry. Shhh. Shhh." He soothed, pulling her into his lap. He had decided to sit normally for the plane ride. "What's wrong? I'm right here."

"I- want- to- know- where-," she cried, in the way little kids did when they were so upset their words came out like hiccups.

"You want to know what? Shh." He held her to his chest, stroking her hair. "What's wrong? You have to tell me. That's the only way I can help."

She didn't answer then, so he just continued stroking her hair. Then, he remembered that she liked having her hair played with, so he took out her pigtails and braided, then re-braided her hair. She stopped crying, and he decided to begin teaching her Japanese to preoccupy her,

He taught her how to say hello, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening; how to introduce herself, how to ask where she was, how to ask where _he_ was, and a bunch of things in between.

Her pronunciations were off, but her memory was there; she repeated everything back to him, and beamed when he told her how intelligent she was.

"I'm smart?" She asked, smiling. He smiled back.

"Of course. You're very intelligent." He responded, pulling her into the crook of his arm. He leaned the seat back, covering her with a blanket and handing her teddy bear back to her. "But you should also be trying to get some sleep. You'll become grumpy otherwise."

"Grumpy?" Emery asked, blinking her eyes tiredly. She pressed her thumb to her lip, though this time she actually began sucking on it. Which, he had to admit, was pretty adorable. She looked like a smaller, cuter... Happier version of him. He had half the mind to tell her to take her thumb out of her mouth so her teeth would stay nice and straight, but he was just happy she seemed ready to go back to sleep. He would take what he could get.

"Daddy?" She asked, her voice growing tired.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Will you sleep too?" She yawned, rubbing her eyes, clutching her hand around his neck. "You look sleepy."

He was tired. But he couldn't remember a time when he wasn't. The circles under his eyes had become a part of who he was; he rarely slept for more than three hours at a time, and even those spells were few and far between. About once a week he would sleep a good twelve hours or so.

Perhaps tonight could be that night. He could certainly try.

"Yes, I will sleep too." He responded, holding her closer.

"You won't leave?"

He didn't know why she was asking him that. Perhaps her mother had occasionally laid down with her, only to leave the room once she'd fallen asleep. Perhaps she just needed to know he would still be there when she woke up... Or perhaps she was developing abandonment issues, for which he couldn't blame her and could only hope he could help her heal from.

"No, baby girl. I won't leave." He promised, stroking her cheek. How was he responsible for such a beautiful human being? What had he done in life to deserve the happiness he felt at that moment?

It was a happiness he'd never felt before. Not even with Watari, who he loved like a father. This love was different. It was unconditional and content. It was an overwhelming sense to protect her, to love her, to build her up, to give her every opportunity to live happily; to live in a world as devoid of evil as possible.

Kira was no longer a puzzle to solve. Kira was a plague; a disease to be eradicated. So he could spend more time with his daughter. So he could create a safer world for her to inherit. So, someday, she could smile and say, "My father brought Kira to justice."

For her.

* * *

L and Emery slept most of the way to Japan, which L knew would make it even harder for Emery to adjust to the time change. By the time they were exiting the plane, it was nearly midnight- and she was wide awake.

"We're in Japan now, right?" She had beamed, swinging her arm back and forth as she held onto Watari's hand, her teddy bear in her other one.

"Yes, we're in Japan now." Watari answered simply, smiling.

"I'm so happy!" Emery beamed, letting go of Watari's hand and grabbing onto her father's. "I'm hungry, is there food here?"

"There is food here, but first we need to get to our hotel." L responded, pulling his hand back as Emery tried to walk too quickly in front of him. He pulled her to his side. "Slow down. Don't let go of my hand."

She nodded. "It smells different here."

"Hmm, yes, you're right. Different countries do emit different scents." L agreed, pressing this thumb to his lower lip. Emery copied him again.

"When I was younger, I used to be of the opinion that England smelled like rainwater and autumn leaves, while Japan smelled of mountain air and cherry blossoms..." Watari mused, holding open the door of the limousine for Emery and L to get in. "But of course, now I'm much older and my smell isn't quite as good." He laughed.

Emery laughed as Watari buckled her into her booster seat, while L began putting their luggage in the trunk. Emery kissed Watari's nose as he leaned over to tighten her seat belt.

"All better!" She said, grinning.

"What do you mean, all better?" Watari laughed, kissing her on the cheek.

"You said your nose doesn't smell good. So I kissed it." She replied, as if her answer was the most obvious one. "And now it's better!"

Watari ruffled her hair. "Yes, it's all better. Thank you."

* * *

Their arrival at their hotel wasn't all that exciting. They checked in, having reserved their largest suite. Watari carried up the rest of the belongings he and L hadn't been able to carry on the first trip up the elevator, while L took out his cell phone- looking up any restaurants that may still be open at the hour. He found one, deciding to order himself some sweets to get him through the night.

"Emery, what would you like to eat?" He asked, crouching down before her- pointing at the menu on his flip phone.

Emery beamed at the pictures. "What is the name of this again?" She asked, pointing at a picture of spaghetti naporitan.

"Spa..." L started, trying to remind her.

"Sketti!"

"Spaghetti." He said. "But this is spaghetti naporitan. So it's different than the spaghetti from home." He pressed his thumb to his lower lip, "Are you certain there's nothing else here that appeals to you? You just had spaghetti last night... Though the food here is a lot different from what you're used to, I'm sure if you try something a bit out of your comfort zone-"

"Sketti, please!" Emery responded, smiling up at him.

"Okay, if you're certain that's what you want. Though I won't buy you something else if you don't like it; you'll just have to eat some of my cakes." He mumbled, though he knew that was a lie. If she ended up disliking her food, certainly he would buy her something else. "And Emery, please try to avoid interrupting adults from now on. Manners are exceedingly important here. I need you to be on your best behavior."

Emery looked down, nodding. "Gomen-nasai." She said softly, which made L's eyes widen.

"You remembered that already?" He asked, smiling. "Good job." He patted her on her head, and she grabbed his hand.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Why isn't there a ring here?" She asked innocently, pointing at the ring finger of his left hand. He closed his hand around hers.

"Why do you ask?" He asked softly.

"Grandpa has one here... It's because he's a daddy, right?" She asked innocently, referring to the ring Watari wore on his ring finger. She thought Watari was L's father. He might as well have been.

"Not entirely. It's because he is in love with someone." L explained simply. "Not all parents wear one."

"...Mommy wore one, though." She explained, cocking her head. "And I thought people had to be in love to have babies."

L didn't know what to say to that, so he was pretty relieved when Watari walked into the room; toting the remainder of their luggage.

"Grandpa!" Emery called, running up to him. "Can I see your ring, please?"

"Of course, Em. But please, allow me to set everything down first."

"I can help." Emery insisted, holding out her arms. Watari handed her the lightest bag he was carrying- and she took it. Then dropped it, because it was too heavy. Watari laughed, Emery laughed, and L... Was too busy figuring out how to answer the next questions Emery was bound to ask. He was lucky to have Watari to help guide him through everything; and he was relieved when, after dinner, Watari insisted that Emery go to sleep- to get her adjusted to the time change.

Of course, she wasn't tired- but it wasn't too hard to get her to sleep by telling her a few stories. Watari was better at stories than L was; and she was out after about a half hour.

L had spent his time alone setting up his computer, munching on his sweets as he did so. He stayed up the rest of the night, though Watari retired at about three in the morning. By six in the morning, L had received correspondence from the director of the FBI; twelve FBI agents had successfully made it to Japan, and would be investigating the information leak within the NPA. Again, everything was happening right on schedule.

He was beginning to get bored with the case, if he was being honest. Everything was just falling into place, as usual, and he was certain that his morning would be rather uneventful.

But then his phone rang.

"Yes?" He answered after having glanced at the caller ID.

"L? I seriously can't deal anymore. Please get me out of here." A panicked voice pleaded on the other line. L's expression didn't change.

"Mello, I believe I was exceedingly clear with you that you were only to call this number in the event of an emergency. Your distaste for Wammy's House... Is not an emergency." L concluded, taking a sip of his tea.

"Near is driving me up a fucking wall. I can't take it anymore! He keeps... Looking at me." Mello explained hotly, and L's face dropped into an even more unamused expression, if such a thing was possible.

"Looking at you?"

"Yes! It's like he knows something I don't. Did you pick him and not tell me about it?"

` "I still haven't come to a decision, Mello. And when I do, you're aware that Roger will be informing _both_ of you, correct?"

"That's what I thought, but I really can't take this place anymore, L." Mello groaned. "The only person keeping me sane here is Matt, and he's always either playing his gameboy or pulling Linda's pigtails."

"...He has always had a thing for Linda..." L mused lowly, taking another sip of his tea. "At any rate, there's not much I can do for you while I'm in Japan... By the way, I apologize for failing to see you before I left. I had every intention to, but some things came up, and-"

"Daddy!" Emery called in the background, putting her arms around L's neck, catching him off guard. He put his free hand over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her.

"Like what? Who's that?" Mello asked, "Something came up like what? Who's calling you... Wait."

"No."

"Yes." Mello insisted.

" _No._ " L reiterated. "I have to go."

"This explains everything!" Mello exclaimed. "You couldn't see me before you left because-"

" _NO."_ L reiterated once more, sternly. He clicked his phone shut.

"Who was that?" Emery asked, poking her father's nose. He didn't look amused. He also didn't answer her; he was too deep in thought. There was absolutely no way he could trust her to keep her mouth shut when necessary, nor could he trust that he and Watari would be able to control her all the time.

She was a liability to the investigation, to her safety, and his. And how could he expect her not to be? She was a child, and children weren't typically keen on following directions or being quiet.

He definitely needed the help of a babysitter; just someone who could keep her occupied when he was too busy to.

And by chance, the perfect woman for the job just _happened_ to have recently arrived in Japan...


	7. Chapter 7

"Babysitting?" The young woman spoke into the receiver, her tone obviously quizzical. "I'm sorry, I wasn't even aware that you had... Well yes, Raye and I are in Japan..."

"Right. Raye is here with the FBI, correct?" L droned flatly as he crouched in one of the hotel chairs, Emery standing before him as he ran a comb through her hair. "And it's not _really_ babysitting, it's more... Of an assistance to the Kira case."

"Well, I suppose that's one way to look at it." The woman mused.

"I'll compensate you handsomely for your work, should you agree to it." His voice became muffled at the end as he held the comb in his mouth, attempting futilely to make Emery's ponytail even on both sides before securing it. He wasn't able to do so, and Watari took over for him. "And you're no longer part of the FBI, am I correct?" He continued, knowing the answer full well. "I'm under the impression that you resigned in preparation for your marriage."

"That's right... And I really don't have a problem doing this for you. I mean, life has become pretty monotonous now that I'm playing housewife. If nothing else, this will give my days a little more structure." The woman admitted hopefully. "But how is this going to work out? You've never revealed yourself to anyone. Even when I worked with you before, you never-"

"Actually, I did... Though I understand why you're still under the impression that you never met me, I did- in fact- reveal myself to you." L responded, mixing his tea before letting the spoon hang off his tongue. "Even if that wasn't the case, this situation is entirely different from the last; and despite the fact that I would never reveal myself to anyone unnecessarily... This _is_ necessary."

"But why did you pick me?" The woman asked. This wasn't like before; she was no longer employed by the FBI and she would be playing no part in the investigation.

"Hmmm... That's a good question, but I suppose it's because... I trust you, Naomi Misora."

And so Naomi met L, in his hotel suite, that afternoon. He explained to her that he only needed her assistance for a few hours a day, but that she would be paid one hundred dollars for every hour she spent watching Emery.

Her mouth fell agape when he informed her of her wages. "You... You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm being entirely sincere." L assured her, taking a sip of his tea. He didn't feel the need to explain the reasoning for her generous compensation- Naomi Misora was more than capable of putting two and two together. "Though, for obvious reasons, your payments will be made in cash daily. I apologize if that's an inconvenience to you."

"N-not at all." Naomi managed to stammer. "What hours should I expect to be watching her?"

"Mmm... I believe between three and six pm daily should do it; that's typically when I'm busiest." L explained, referring to the time at which the NPA typically held their end-of-day briefings. He couldn't have Emery calling out "Daddy!" in the background while he communicated with them. Even considering his use of the voice synthesizer, that was risky; he couldn't let the NPA know that he had... Family.

That word still felt weird, even just thinking it. _Family_.

"Would you like me to take her out with me during those hours?" Naomi questioned. "There's a park just down the street, and a library not too far from that."

"I think that's quite a good idea. I spend a lot of time indoors, but I don't want her getting too restless."

"Yeah, a bored child _does_ typically lead to trouble." Naomi laughed nervously. "Would it be alright for me to take her to the store with me today? I have a few errands to run..."

"That's fine. But let's go over your _story_ before you leave, okay?"

"My story?"

"Yes. In case anyone happens to question you about the child you're walking around with." L responded nonchalantly, holding up a piece of paper with his thumb and forefinger. "If anyone asks, Em is your niece visiting from overseas. You're babysitting her while your brother-in-law works." He held the paper toward her. It was covered in bullet points.

"And if Raye asks me who I'm babysitting for...?" Naomi questioned, gingerly taking the paper from between his fingers.

"I would prefer it if you didn't inform him of your occupation at all." L said, plopping more sugar cubes into his third cup of tea. "I doubt he would be too keen on the idea of you working in close proximity of _anyone_ involved in the Kira case; let alone the man leading it. Your safety was one of the main reasons he had you quit the FBI, was it not?"

"Well, yes." Naomi admitted after a moment- though she wasn't too keen on his implication that Raye _made_ her quit the FBI. She looked toward Emery, who was crouched down in the corner of the room, coloring in an activity book. "He didn't think _both_ of us working dangerous jobs was a good idea, considering the fact that we plan on having children sometime soon."

"That's understandable." L commented, his spoon hanging out of his mouth as he leaned his cheek on his hand, looking toward Emery as well. "This will be good practice for you, then." He commented, his voice slightly muffled.

"Practice?"

"You said the two of you were planning on having children."

"Oh... Right." Naomi nodded, and L glanced toward her out of the corner of his eyes. She almost expected them to shine bright red.

She looked nervous. Like she wanted to say something, but couldn't work up the courage to do so.

"Are you surprised?" L asked finally, gently stacking cubes of sugar on the coffee table before him.

Naomi was taken aback. "A little bit." She admitted. She _had_ met him in person before. He was the young man who reminded her so much of Beyond...

He _had_ revealed himself to her in the past; and yet she had spent all of this time so sure that she had never seen his face.

"Don't be. It's not as if I was incredibly forward in my introduction, anyway."

Naomi nodded in agreement. "You're right about that." She joked. He didn't respond- just continued stacking his sugar cubes.

She couldn't keep her eyes off him. His mannerisms were so similar to Beyond's... The entire situation was pretty eerie.  
"Em." L finally called, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Emery rushed over to him, and his entire stature changed. His mannerisms were still stiff and strange, but Naomi noticed that something about him... Softened.

"I'll give you a lollipop if you bring me the briefcase from beside the bed." L promised, ruffling his daughter's fringe. She stuck out her tongue, rushing to fix what he had ruined before nodding and scuffling away- only to return moments later.

"Alright, now tell her what we went over." L instructed, placing his hand on Emery's shoulder.

She nodded, dropping the briefcase on the carpet and then opening it. Inside, among other things, was a fake ID. She handed it to Naomi.

"Daddy wants you to be called Shoko Maki from now on. I'm Em, and he's Ryuusaki."

"Ryuzaki." L corrected her, the smallest of smiles playing across his lips as he handed her a lollipop almost the size of her head. "But you did quite well regardless."

"Oh! And nobody can know he's my daddy." Emery exclaimed, as if she had just remembered that bit.

"That's right." L agreed, nodding. "And if anybody asks...?"

"Ms. Maki is my aunt! She's watching me while my daddy works."

"And your _daddy_ is...?"

"Her... Um... I forgot the word." Emery looked down, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. "B...Brr-"

"Her brother-in-law." L reminded her, and Emery nodded excitedly.

"Yeah, that!"

Naomi laughed, looking down at the fake ID. "Shoko Maki... I think I can manage that." She commented, placing it in her purse before looking down at her watch. "It's almost three now- did you want me to go ahead and get her out of here?"

"Yes, that's probably best." L admitted, standing as he fetched Emery's coat from behind his chair. He helped her into it, reaching for her matching beanie- but she shook her head.

"I don't like that." She informed him.

"Well, you have two choices..." He began, zipping and then buttoning her jacket. "You can either wear the hat, or pull down your hood."

Emery turned away from him, crossing her arms jokingly. He turned her back around, taking it upon himself to pull her hood down for her. "Please don't give your aunt any trouble."

"I won't!" Emery promised, all smiles. She and her father said their goodbyes as Emery took Naomi's outstretched hand- ready to start a new adventure.


End file.
